Stereotypes II: Sellers

Do you remember when people use to go to the store to buy things?  That trend is pretty much dead.  Whether for better or worse, I have no opinion.  Eventually, it will probably completely die out.  I envision a day when I tell my grandchild that there was a place called "Blockbuster", where I used to rent/buy movies from.  And with a look of sheer disbelief, he/she will say to me, "Grandpa, are you making up stories to cover up the fact you sh$% your pants again?"  Maybe an exaggeration, but probably not.

The internet is not a "new" thing anymore.  Why talk to a microwave expert, when you can just look online and research it?  Then you can pretentiously bring up the fact you know all the specs on a 4-slot toaster at the water cooler tomorrow.  You can buy anything you want from the safety of the Men's Room stall.  Then eBay and Craigslist happened.  Regular people became not only expert consumers, but also expert sellers.  So on and so forth...

This is all well and good.  However, most people are idiots.  What does this mean for us buyers?  Let me show you:

Misinformed

This person is selling a "Gibson Les Paul Special II" for $125.  I assure you, this did not come out of the Gibson factory.  Maybe from the cesspool of expired lacquer that sits behind the factory, but this is in fact, not a Gibson.  I mainly find it odd that despite the fact that in fancy lettering up on the headstock, it says "Epiphone", this person decided it was a Gibson.  But of course, this type of seller never would include a picture of the headstock to confirm that.  This ad also falls into another category:

My Crap Smells Like Roses, Because It Was MY Crap

Do you remember when I sanded a guitar down to its sealer, and tried to sell it with no upgrades for $100 more than I bought it for?  Now you can drag your crusty panties out of the closet and put whatever price you want on it, cause it's got "stock parts".  Everyone wants to buy things for dirt cheap, and sell their stuff for twice the amount they paid, simply because they're magic and they owned it.

Terminology

People come up with the most hilarious adjectives for their stuff when they're selling.  I ran across this listing this morning, and almost died laughing.  What on earth is "swat"?  It sounds naughty.  Dirty.  Like some sort of fluid excreted from the nether regions of a person's body.  Needless to say, I am withholding my money for a "swat"-less guitar.  

Another term I see frequently is "MUST SELL ASAP!!!".  Maybe this is just me, but when I see that title, my brain immediately thinks "cheap".  But when I open the link, low and behold you've got that puppy listed for a pretentiously high price.  You're going to get low balled if you put that in a listing.  If you don't, please FWD me your email so I can low ball you.  

"Upgrades"

This is one that just blows my mind.  

Here's a guitar.  It was $700 new.  They blew them out in stores because they couldn't sell them for around $500.  But wait, he made upgrades.  Let's see *reads* they put $250 of upgrades into it.  Okay that makes $750 low, $950 high.... and they're asking a grand plus shipping.  But that would be if that guitar was new...

If you buy any guitar, from any store and your 30, 60, 90 day return policy goes away, that is now a used guitar.  I don't care how pristine it is or how little you played it, you own a used guitar.  But even more than this, all of my existence wants to smite people who try to sell a used guitar for substantially more than they bought it for.  Yes, there is a vintage market.  But what about stuff in the past 10 - 15 years?  Here's the hard truth.  Upgrades are nice, but they don't raise the value of a guitar much.  If anything, it makes it only slightly more appealing to sell at a reasonable used price.  If you really want to make your money back, you'll sell off the upgrades and try to get what you can for the stock instrument.  

Partscasters

I'm going to tread lightly on this stereotype because it seems to be hit or miss.  I've built up a couple Partscasters.  It's usually some extravagant scheme that will fulfill all my weird niche desires in a guitar, while having an original look and vibe.  I usually finish it, love it for a day, then realize that I've made some sort of ugly bastard guitar child and want to get rid of it ASAP.  I can tell you from experience, if you try to sell the guitar as a complete, you will almost never get what you have into it back out.  That's not to say it won't ever happen, especially if you build up a parts guitar modeled after a very famous retro guitar.  But if you have a super strat, with sustainer pickups, built in fuzz, and misting fan to keep you cool, it's probably not going to happen.  You're actually better off parting it out, that way people can incorporate pieces of your master scheme into their master scheme.  

Relentless Re-Posters

This is not Photoshop magic.  I kid you not, this is what my local CL looks like if you type in "piano".  If you scroll down, they keep repeating each day for a couple months (at least).  It has to be one person too, because these get re-posted in the same blocks of various pianos.  Someone even made a listing to try to get everyone to "Flag" these posts from popping up.  It worked for awhile, but they've crept up again.  I'm sure you've seen em too.  The WORST part about re-posters, is that they're typically unwilling to lower/negotiate price.  There was a guy with an Epiphone Casino on Craigslist a while back (he's actually resurfaced recently) who kept doing this.  I tried to get it from him at one point actually but he was unwilling to budge on price.  Now he's got a "PRICE DROP!!!" tag in the title, and it's -$25 less than he was asking in the first place.  I don't make the rules on selling, but if you haven't sold something for months or a year, you really should reconsider your price.

Now I don't rule the internet.  I don't make the rules.  These are just my observations.  I've been guilty of a few of these.  Let's just remember to turn that ole brain on when we're selling our old toys.  

- Stonewall